Brand New Day
In cinemas. Bring a cloth.
A parody of the June 2026 Spider-Man: Brand New Day ScreenX promo, the one where Lionel Messi turns up in a coffee shop running a Spider-Man tracking app and doesn't react to anything. Same beats, transposed: a greasy spoon instead of a coffee shop, a Wetherspoons tracker instead of a Spidey tracker, and a man who will not admit it is 14 degrees.
Made end-to-end on a home server with no GPU and no paid API. The scenes are flat vector SVG drawn frame by frame in headless Chromium, the voices are local neural TTS, and the sound design — every plop, squelch and whoosh — is synthesised from noise and sine sweeps in about eighty lines of Python.